Nan You're a Window Shopper

The bottom feels so much better than the top

So much better

Nan you're a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan you're a window shopper

You won't pick it up if its over a fiver

Nan you're a window shopper

Get on the bus coz you still can't drive

Nan you're a window shopper

Mad as f**k only just alive

Get up in the morning and you like your tea milky

You fumble for your glasses coz without 'em you cant see

It's funny how I come round your house and I'm ２０

And I still have to wear all the presents you sent me

I walk into your kitchen everything's got a label

You done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April

And you wont leave the house unless your wearing your thermals

You're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like Strepsils

Your heading down the Bowls Club

Have another orange squash

Balls are rollin rollin rollin

You can't walk right coz things aren't what they were

Your ankles are swollen swollen swollen

Nan you're a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan you're a window shopper

You won't pick it up if its over a fiver

Nan you're a window shopper

Get on the bus coz you still can't drive

Nan you're a window shopper

Mad as f**k only just alive

You're walking down the post office to pick up your pension

And then you're off to Bingo it's become an obssession

So weary of the kids when their wearin' their hoods up

And even if they smile at you you think its a stick-up

You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons

Your saving ５０p but what do you want with tampons

Your always at the doctor picking up your prescription

And they throw in some K-Y just to ease up the friction

You gotta leak in your colostomy bag

Yeah its got a hole in hole in hole in

At the weekend your shopping with your trolley

It's so sad how your rollin rollin rollin

Nan you're a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan you're a window shopper

You won't pick it up if its over a fiver

Nan you're a window shopper

Get on the bus coz you still can't drive

Nan you're a window shopper

Mad as f**k only just alive