你是不是也很好奇安追和蜜根这两个称号是出自哪里?那么今天这段永流传的经典就来了, andre megan! andre! where are you shh! andre! megan! andre! megan! andre! megan! andre! andre! andre! andre! andre! andre! andre! andre! 故事发生在电影院,安追带着他那妖艳的女朋友蜜根在看电影。这时蜜根想去上厕所,但他庞大的体型和洪亮的人产生了不小的影响。 excuse me? um? excuse me? 提醒无果的安追也很是无奈。两分半后,蜜根重新回到了影厅,可因为光线太暗找不到自己的座位,于是有了那个永流传的名场面。 andre megan, andre! where are you shh? you shh? i'm looking for my boyfriend megan! andre megan! 电影院的众人恨不得化身影院判官给蜜根除掉,显然这种没素质的行为大家也不愿遇到吧。之后的蜜根循着安追的声音缓缓靠近,但还是没能找到安追。 megan! come here! andre! megan! andre! megan! andre! megan! andre! andre! andre! andre! andre! andre! andre! 这时蜜根竟然又跑到了荧幕前,掏出手机打电话给安追。 don't do that! 安追不停告诉咪根自己就在身后,想让他转身看一眼自己,然后快点回到座位。可我们的咪根是何方神圣?直接展示了一下他的超绝理解能力。 okay, i'm gonna turn around you need one else it just do it i'm right there stop yelling at me! 一 旁的黑哥们也是气得脸都黑了,警告安追立刻挂掉电话,不要影响他官运。见状的咪根又继续在影厅瞎逛, 甚至还跑到了投影仪前呼唤安追, angie come on you can't be honest angie shut get off of me mr director he's not the director can you shine this light on the audience i want to see my boyfriend let me see something ah the lights in my eyes。 两分半后, 蜜根终于是找到了自己的位置,依旧是用他那大嗓门打扰着别人,最后回到了安追旁边。 i couldn't find the bathroom。
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i wish i was high on pot news hahaha 集合课上,老师正一本正经的讲着直角三角形的斜边台下,清澈愚蠢的安追鬼使神差的大声喊出了这句谐音梗,瞬间引爆了全班的笑点。 okay, it's very funny let's get back to the lesson! 殊不知,这个绝妙的段子其实是旁边的咪根偷偷想出来的。看着自己的笑话被兄弟随口截胡,咪根急得抓耳挠腮,拼命向老师解释自己才是原创。 i said it i said that please keep your comments to yourself thank you now the hypotenuse is 哈哈哈哈。随着笑声的蔓延,事情的发展彻底失去了控制。不仅校长被这个段子逗得合不拢嘴,连正好来学校巡演的喜剧巨星都对安追惊为天人,当场拍板邀请他加入自己的豪华巡演团队。一旁的咪根彻底崩溃,试图最后挣扎一次。 mister gracias mister gracias that was my joke you know it's not really cool buddy to take credit for other people's jokes and listen i'm doing this big tour right now you want to see about maybe we could talk about your opening what do you think is that okay of course yeah of course what? 眼看安追名利双收,绝望的咪根试图东施效颦,抛出一个粗俗的烂梗,不料换来的却是老师的疯狂暴走和同学们的无情嘲讽。令他没想到的是,这出荒诞的闹剧竟然一路火到了白宫。 good evening my fellow mary today we honor troy morris 总统不仅亲自在全国电视讲话中威安追颁发了国会喜剧荣誉奖章,还美滋滋的穿上了印着鞋边的限量版文化衫。而那个真正的段子手密根只能在角落里默默怀疑人生。

千万别在严肃重要的场合,贸然播放来路不明、自己都没看过的录像带。 yes sir you best be believing i will i'll shine your shoes blacker than my mama's booty 这天,安追政举办父亲咪根的追悼会, 打算体面送别离世的父亲。咪根在世时是邻里交口称赞的道德标杆、社区领袖,早年更是风光无限的好莱坞知名演员。 安追在收拾遗物时,意外翻出一卷记录咪根演绎过往的老旧胶片,从没看过内容的他,本以为全是高光明场面,满心觉得足够惊艳,当场就让工作人员当众放映。可画面一开,画风彻底失控,先是疑惑的奶奶寻找消失蛋糕的片段, where are the pies i put on my window sill why i don't know mrs carroll why would anyone want to steal one of your delicious blueberry pie。 紧接着是咪根化身酒店擦鞋服务生的滑稽戏, see to it you shine those shoes up nice boy yes sir you best be believing i will i'll shine your shoes blacker than my mama booty。 更离谱的是,下一幕直接出现他扮演食人族大锅烹煮白人的炸裂画面。 不敢不敢不敢不敢说不敢不敢!台下密根的老友亲眼撞见这段不堪黑历史,当场疯狂吐槽, oh hell no! 安追瞬间摄死醒悟,为了收场,直接把这卷摄死录像带扔进棺木,让所有不堪秘密跟着父亲一同长眠地下。

卧槽!万万没想到,咪根竟是来地球卧底的外星人!恭喜你又在手机电量百分之八十五的时候刷到一集没看过的安追和咪根。这天,咪根正在公园里欣赏美女,这时安追走了过来, 一看对面是个像美人鱼一样的黑色靓妹,安追就忍不住发出了感叹,这妹子真好看!然而,与安追两眼花痴不同的是,蜜根却好像完全不认识眼前这个生物。 what is that i didn't know they made em like that i don't even understand what i'm seeing whoo? 安追还以为咪根是在装波,一世上哪有没看过美女的男人?安追不怀好意地问咪根,难道没媳妇吗?结果咪根再次语出惊人,问安追媳妇是什么?此话一出,好险没把安追憋出内伤。 well, you know we uh we obviously have some idea you know i don't well, you know it's a you know it's a cochie baby。 谁知安追的话让咪根更懵逼了,为啥必须是女人生孩子? 难道男人不能生吗?安追一听,这货肯定是个文盲,连基础的生物知识都没有。他告诉迷根,因为男人没有房子,生不了孩子。结果迷根却说自己见过男人生孩子。安追听罢直呼不可能。 uh, no, no, it's it's definitely gonna be a vagina why? but because she's a girl and girls have vaginas man? what is that what is a vagina? it's a woman's reproductive organ wait are you being serious right now? thank you that is all i require there's aliens there's alien down there hahahaha。

have you have you ever slept with a bad guy? no, but i really want to i'm too。 安追和咪根的运气简直好到让人嫉妒,随便进个酒吧都能碰上艳遇,恭喜你又在手机电量百分之七十七的时候刷到一集没看过的安追和咪根。 这天兄弟俩相约在酒吧聊天,谈论着近期发生的趣事。就在这时,身后白人女孩的聊天引起了他们的注意。 have you ever thought of the by guy? no, but i really want to i do apparently it is like a whole other thing than sleeping with white men。 白人女孩的夸赞让兄弟俩很是受用,安追骄傲的扬起头,毕竟在这方面兄弟俩还是很有自信的。 然而有好就有坏,女孩画风一转,表示黑人大多会缺少父爱,因为很多黑人还是个孩子就喜当爹了,就算意外有了孩子也压根不管。或许是黑人的族传统,这些话让安追和咪根实在听不下去了,于是便打算付钱离开。谁知这时白人女孩又说起了更过分的事情, know how to please white women right just like way more than white men oh, well, it's probably in their blood cause they're used to pleasing their white masters yeah wall of the jungle right, totally i am so desperate to find out for myself me too。 就 这样,原本要离开的俩人又重新坐了下来。这时白人女孩表示喝多了,想去一趟厕所,还说如果在厕所遇到黑人,一定会给对方一次机会。听到这话的安追和米根都在心里打起了算盘,只是彼此不好意思开口而已。 最终还是咪根率先打破僵局。 so unrelated i now have to go to the bathroom uh because i've been drinking coffee all day so i will be back in a little while well you know what let me go first i'll be about thirty seconds。 眼看又被安追捷足先登了,不过好在身后还有一个白人女孩, 虽然没有那个好看,但也不错,于是咪根刚坐下就直接让他颜面扫地。 i'm sorry i don't have any money sir okay。

谁能想到,前秒还在揭发安追装死的密根,夏秒就当场入伙一起躺,哈哈哈!一只敢死小队被追兵追的走投无路,躲进一家旅馆,几人正密谋和大部队汇合,外面的枪声却瞬间炸开, 两名队友当场重担倒地,主角光环附体的安追竟毫发无伤。眼看敌人就要破门而入,安追急中生智,当场躺倒在地,使出了看家本领装死, 可惜位置没选对,刺眼的阳光直晒在脸上,很快房门被打开,军官带着副官咪根走了进来。军官扫了一眼地上的尸体,一脸不屑嘲讽敌军不堪一击,下令搜查整个旅馆后放松警惕,跟咪根聊起了天,说是闲聊,实则炫耀, guess what i saw at the markets other day? oh oh i don't know adolf hitler, i love hitler! 得知密跟没近距离见过元首,军官更嘚瑟了,破墨横飞的描述着胡子细节。此时安追被阳光晒得睁不开眼,忍不住悄悄抬了下头, 瞬间被警觉的咪根捕捉到,他刚想提醒长官,可长官正沉浸在偶遇元首的故事里,压根不想被打断,咪根只能把话憋在心里。紧接着长官又兴奋爆料自己还见到了首长夫人。安追见军官炫耀上头,趁机偷偷挪到阴凉处继续装死。而这一幕又被咪根尽收眼底,他实在忍不了,刚要开口 就被军官呵斥,让他专心听故事,不许东张西望。 yes sir so i give him a salute and he gives me one of those half hitler, salutes you know down low, very cool right? 军官越说越有劲,可密根的心思早不在故事上,他一边敷衍硬打长官,一边用余光死死盯着安追。这是一只蚊子在安追脸上疯狂挑衅, 他没忍住啪一下拍死蚊子。这么大动静,军官愣是没听见。咪根转头一看,这货不仅拍死了蚊子,还抽空炫上了巧克力。他实在忍不住了,再次试图打断军官,结果被一顿臭骂。咪根也豁出去,准备揭发安追再装死。 i'm trying to tell you that body is moving! 军官满脸不耐烦,陆队咪根尸体都招苍蝇了,怎么可能懂?但为了让他闭嘴,不再打断自己的高光故事,他决定亲自验证地上的全是死人。说完,军官举起刺刀,挨个刺向地上的尸体 前两人都毫无反应。轮到安追瞬间惊呆咪根,长官的反应更是让咪根心态爆炸, no, i'll never get used to those final death throws death throws air mueller what is wrong with you those are not death throws you are being an idiot! 话音刚落,就被一枪放倒。军官惋惜他没听到故事高潮,接着边讲未完的故事,边带着手下撤离。等人走远,安追偷偷往下一瞟,发现子弹只打中了咪根的水壶,而旁边的咪根也有模有样的装起了死。真是师徒二人完美会使,哈哈哈哈!
